Thoughts on life with my children

There are too many days when the only vegetable in my kids' diet is katsup.

I think I would greatly benefit if Marina came equipped with some kind of early warning system. It could start off softly when she's easing towards trouble, then upgrade to a "Defcon 1" tornado blast when she starts coloring on the walls or flooding the bathroom.

I've seen tons of medications that warn, "Makes you sleepy. Do not drive or attempt to operate heavy machinery while taking." Melanie comes with no such warning label, but she probably should.

I am continually amazed at my kids' ability to stand two feet from me and, somehow, be completely unable to hear a word that I am saying, unless those words happen to be "McDonalds" or "Jelly beans."

I feel really bad that Melanie's life as a third child involves so much crying.

Also amazing is Megan's constant attempts to get around the "no tattling" rule. Her latest trick is to stand six inches from me and sob, "Ouch Ouch!" Apparently this is how she feels Marina's dastardly deeds will be properly brought to my attention. Ignoring her just makes her louder.

I don't even want to describe the scene that met me in the dining room last night; suffice it to say, it involved both big kids, diarrhea and a squirt bottle. I'm sure your imagination will fill in the blanks.

Motherhood is not for the faint of heart.

In Memory

Last week, the 23 year old brother of one of my closest friends took his own life. He had struggled with alcoholism for some time, but the news that he committed suicide shook my friend, her family, and all around them to the core. Equally tragic is the fact that my friend lost her father 20 years ago--in the same way.

At Russell's funeral on Tuesday, I couldn't help but look at all the people surrounding me. I didn't know Russell; we spent some time together as small children, but I hadn't seen him in over 18 years. Most of the people attending his funeral would have said the same thing. We were there to support his mother and sisters, and also to grieve for the loss of someone so young. My guess would be that if all of us were in a room with Russell when he was alive, he wouldn't have recognized or known 75% of us. I couldn't help but wonder...if he could have looked into the future, and seen the grief of that group of people, so many of them strangers, would it have changed his mind?

I overheard someone say in passing, "What a waste." I can only assume they were referring to Russell's age, and the fact that he chose to take his own life. But I truly feel that "waste" is not the word to apply to the situation. Tragedy, yes. Horrible, yes. But waste? What Russell did was wrong; I am not disputing that. But I firmly believe that God can--and does--work amazing and wonderful things, even in the midst of tragedy, horror, and sin. We may never know the full repercussions of Russell's death, but I think it would be equally tragic for us to assume that none of them could possibly be good. As Fr. Marc said, God loves Russell. Nothing he did in life will ever change that.

His death has touched our family in ways I wouldn't have predicted. We are saddened for the young man that we never knew, but even more, we grieve for and with his family, whom we do know, and know very well. Dn. John was asked to be a pallbearer, and I can't help but wonder at the strength it took for my husband to serve in that position for a man he'd never met, but grieved for anyway. In the end, as I witnessed him comforting our friends after the funeral, I came to the conclusion that God wanted him as a pallbearer so that he could be on the "front lines" so to speak, and no more than a footstep away from our friends when they needed him most.

Today was Russell's burial. His family was granted special permission to bury him in the National Cemetery on Fr. Richardson, where his father lies. As the funeral procession drove through the base, we witnessed an extraordinary thing: every soldier, upon seeing the hearse, pulled their vehicle--be it a police car, a civilian vehicle, or--in one case--two camouflage Hummers--to the side of the road, got out, stood to attention, and saluted. Having never been a part of a military funeral, I had no idea as to the protocol involved. Seeing all these men standing and honoring Russell, despite the fact that they had no idea who he was, moved me to tears. God bless them for the honor and support, however small, that they gave to Russell, his mother, and his sisters.

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with Russell's family. The grief that I witness is two fold...one for the loss of a beloved son and brother, and secondly remembering the time 20 years ago that they went through this same process for a father and husband. I can't pretend to know how raw that grief is, nor how incredibly difficult it must be to endure the same horror twice in a lifetime. Please pray for them, and pray for us as well, to be able to offer the friendship and support that they need during these most difficult days.

Memory Eternal Russell. May your soul dwell with the blessed.

When you give a 4 year old a camera...

Marina

'Nuff said.

She sleeps!

MELANIE IS SLEEPING BY HERSELF. Throw a parade! Break out the champagne! I've been working with her today to try and teach her that my lap is not the only place she can sleep...and it's going decently well. Megan is happy to rock her when she fusses, and this has given me a chance to clean up, make bread, and do some other random tasks. I also haven't taken any pain medication today, and while I'm moving a little slowly, I feel pretty good. It's one of those "back in the land of the living" moments...despite the fact that the land of the living includes very little sleep and two arguing children. But we're only looking at the positives, right? :)

I have reached a critical juncture in bread making, in that it has yeast and is rising right now, so if Melanie flips out and I forget about it, my bread has the potential to explode all over the kitchen. Here's hoping the peace continues.

Megan ever so kindly asked me yesterday, "If the baby is already born, why is your tummy still so big?" When I told her it just takes time to shrink back down, I was informed I should do some exercise. While she's probably right, that exercise will not be happening for at least another month. By then, I'll hopefully have the doctor's okay, and there will be less ice on the road so we can go for lots and lots of walks. The muni finished a bike path last summer that goes right past our street and into Eagle River. My friend Kari and I have big plans to take our kids for lots of long walks this summer into town...if for no other reason than we can. Round trip from here to the store is four miles, so we'll get in some good exercise, conversation, and lots of sun.

Melanie in Action

Busy

I may never have time to blog again. Every time I log on, somebody starts to cry. Catch you later!

Day 1 on my own

I was home alone with my kids today. All three of them. I have to admit that I've been nervous about this day for many months...and it was not as bad as I thought. Granted, it's hard to have a bad day when you sit in a recliner and watch movies all afternoon, but still. When Dn. John left for work this morning, all three girls were crying, and his wife was five seconds away from joining in. However, we plowed through.

My sister came by for about an hour and a half and did a bunch of cleaning for me, which was awesome. Right now, hubby and big girls are at Liturgy, and baby girl just woke up demanding my attention.

I do have time to tell you this though--Marina attempted to nurse Melanie earlier. It was hilarious, and ended in a very interesting conversation about exactly WHY she couldn't do that.

All about Melanie

I am blogging from my hospital room, my newborn daughter fast asleep in my lap. Thanks to my sister, I've got a laptop for the weekend, and I really wanted to write about Melanie. So here is a synopsis of the last three days. :)

THE BIRTH

Ah, her birth. It was interesting. I had early labor all day on Tuesday, starting at about ten in the morning. The doctor sent me to the hospital to get checked out late that afternoon, just to see what was going on. We got hooked up to a monitor around 5:15 pm, and the nurses monitored baby and contractions until 7:30. In that time, my contractions went from 13 minutes to 3 minutes apart, tripled in intensity, and I dilated to a two. It was decided that yes, I was in labor, so I got to stay. Around midnight, the contractions were more than I cared to deal with, so I got an epidural. Unfortunately, the epidural stopped my labor completely in its tracks, and I didn't have another contraction for about three hours. With the help of some pitocin, contractions started again, and at 4 am, I was dilated to a 4. Melanie's head was really high, so they kept cranking the pitocin, trying to bring her head down so she could be born. It didn't happen. By 3:30 that afternoon (after well over 24 hours of labor, no sleep, and no food since 4 pm the previous day), she was still at a -3 station, I hadn't dilated past 4, and her head was starting to drift to the side. It was at this point in time that a c-section became reality. I was disappointed, but so completely fried from labor that it wasn't a difficult decision, especially since Melanie was having some heart problems and my blood pressure was dipping dangerously low. They got me in the OR, gave me a spinal (my epidural had long since worn off), and delivered our baby girl at 4:28 pm. The crazy thing was that they got her head out, and were suctioning out her nose, when Melanie started to wiggle, and actually delivered her own shoulders. The two doctors were laughing in disbelief as they watched. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 6 ounces, and 20.75 inches long, the lightest but tallest of our three daughters.

HER PERSONALITY

Melanie is already her own little person. :) She sleeps really well, eats like a champ, and has the lung function of an elephant. I woke up at 2 am this morning to a baby crying, and was in absolutely no doubt that it was my daughter being brought to my room. She is also pretty gassy, and burps and farts enough to put a college linebacker to shame. She squeaks and grunts all the time in her sleep, and when she wakes up goes from 0 to 60 in about two seconds. She continues to be as active as she was in utero, stretching and kicking to beat the band. I glanced down at her while she was nursing earlier, and she had one eye open, and was completely glaring at me, frowning while she ate. It was hilarious.

HER NAME

We picked out the name Melanie simply because we love it. We never purposefully picked out a third "M" name, and in fact fought it for awhile before deciding that we just didn't care. :) Anne has two origins--one is simply because--again--we love the name; the second is after her Great-grandmother (my Mom's Mom) MaryAnn. Her patron saint is St. Anna, the mother of the Theotokos.

HER BIG SISTERS

Adore her. Possibly to pieces. :) When Marina finally made the connection that Melanie is the baby that was in my tummy, she completely claimed her. She spent time touching her head, and kissing her, saying over and over, "I love Melanie. She's so cute!" Megan is the consummate little mama. She does a great job holding her, and is eager to help bring diapers, pick out clothes, and just be around when Melanie is doing stuff. Marina is having some separation anxiety, and that's been hard on both of us. When she visits, she snuggles and clings to me for quite a long time. She called me this morning when she woke up, asking to come see me, and yesterday asked, "Can we take Mommy home?" It about broke my heart. I'm looking forward to getting home tomorrow, and having more than visiting hours with my family.

HER DADDY

Is completely sold. :) It took him less than three seconds in the OR to fall in love with his new daughter, and he's also doing an amazing job with the older girls while I'm gone. Megan got some mild food poisoning, and Marina's been dealing with more horrifying gastro-intestinal issues, so he was up all night the night before last with one kid barfing and one having explosive diarrhea. This was after two days of almost no sleep, and being at my beck and call during labor and delivery.

I have to be honest--I've never been more thankful for my husband than in the past few days. Labor was extraordinarily difficult, and he was my rock. During the c-section, I was incredibly scared, and I never would have made it through without him.

So here we are, a family of five. It's wonderful and amazing, and the ride is only beginning!

Melanie Anne Rogers

It's a girl!
Melanie Anne Rogers
Born 3/2/2011 @ 4:28pm
7lbs, 6 oz; 20.75 inches

Cauliflower Pie

Don't be turned off by the title; it is so, so good. I got the recipe originally from my sister at the Monastery, but I have modified it a little (mainly by doubling the feta and adding the onions). We had it for dinner last night, and even my kids ate a little. :)

1 head cauliflower
1 onion, sliced in half, then into thin rings
1 cup crumbled feta cheese (or more, if you like)
2 Tbsp. butter

Break up the cauliflower into bite sized pieces and lightly steam (it will finish cooking later). Melt the butter in a frying pan. When butter stops foaming, add onions. Cook until brown and caramelized (about 15 minutes). Grease a small baking dish. Layer the cauliflower, then feta, then caramelized onions. (If not during Lent, I would also add a bunch of crumbled bacon)

Bechemel Sauce
2 Tbsp. butter
2 Tbsp. flour
1 cup hot milk
1 egg
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
salt and pepper to taste

Melt the butter. Add flour, and cook for one minute. Add hot milk, whisking until smooth and thick. Add the egg and whisk until incorporated (you have to work quickly, or the egg will scramble). Add nutmeg, salt and pepper.

Spread the sauce over the top of the veggies and cheese. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

If you like saucier food, you can double the Bechemel. That is what the recipe originally calls for, but it was too much sauce for my family.