Melanie does more awesome stuff

In response to the Melanie walking post, I would like to now bring you the fireworks-worthy, champagne-drinking, break-dancing-in-celebration, following statement:

MELANIE SLEPT FOR TWELVE HOURS STRAIGHT LAST NIGHT. EIGHT TO EIGHT, BABY: EIGHT TO EIGHT! THAT'S RIGHT. I'M SO EXCITED I'M STILL WRITING IN ALL CAPS.

This much-anticipated baby milestone did not bring a single tear to my eye. Not-a-one. No nostalgia here, people. She has, thus far, been the worst sleeper of all three of our kids, and it's been exhausting. Beyond exhausting, really. Mind-numbing, bone-weary, debilitating fatigue has ruled my days more often than not. Now, I can sense the sweet, sweet victory of just normal tiredness associated with raising three precious yet rambunctious daughters hell-bent on destroying my sanity one precious brain cell at a time (we just got home from a five hour trip into Anchorage, in case you can't tell).

But seriously. Love them. Especially when they sleep.

Melanie walking

Yesterday, Melanie stood up all by herself in the middle of the living room and walked all over the place. Repeatedly.

We were laughing and clapping because it was so cute, and she was so stinking proud of herself. I have to admit though, that my heart was crying a tiny bit. All I could think was, "And there goes my baby...she's growing up." And it hurt. Just a little.

A love story

Today, being Valentine's Day, I have been reflecting a lot about love. This isn't, however, a love story about Dn. John and myself (although I do love him a lot). The love I've been thinking about mostly today is a mother-daughter kind of love. Specifically, a Mommy and Marina love.

Marina is a hard kid sometimes. She is feisty, fearless, adventuresome, and messy (so help me, she's messy...). I don't always relate well to these qualities. The feistiness, maybe...but in a different way. In any case, I've been having a hard time wrapping my brain around the complexities of being her Mom lately. I'm not sure what makes her tick, and I definitely don't know how to get her to do what I think she should be doing.

And therein lies the problem. Who says I'm right about what she should be doing? I had an epiphany during Vespers a few weeks ago. No two ways about it, it was a Holy Spirit-inspired moment. I can't even articulate it, really. Just a knowledge that I'm going about being Marina's Mom all the wrong way. (I would like to note that I had to interrupt this post for fifteen minutes to clean up the massive mess she made with watercolors all over the kitchen table, windowsill, wall, floor, chairs, and bathroom).

As hard as it is for me to swallow the messes, the fearlessness, and her adventuresome spirit, squashing it probably isn't the answer. So, I am embarking on a new mothering journey...shouting less (at least attempting to), and trying to gear our lives in a more "Marina-friendly" way. More activities, more exercise, more projects. Less cooped-up. Less obsessively structured. Etc, etc, etc.

And at the same time, somehow, I have to manage to train her and raise her in a way that keeps her spirit and joy intact, but somehow harnesses her boundless energy and gives her focus.

My answer? I only have one. Pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray pray. And then pray some more.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I love you, Marina Joy.

A whole mess of pictures

Videos!

Melanie walking, plus Megan and Marina ice skating for the first time! Enjoy.

Taxes, begone!

I finished assembling all the information for getting the business taxes done. Everybody, say it with me:

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......."

What a load off.

Now I can think of other things. Like this. It's a doozy.

55 Maxims for Christian Living
by Fr. Thomas Hopko
1. Be always with Christ.
2. Pray as you can, not as you want.
3. Have a keepable rule of prayer that you do by discipline.
4. Say the Lord’s Prayer several times a day.
5. Have a short prayer that you constantly repeat when your mind is not occupied with other things.
6. Make some prostrations when you pray.
7. Eat good foods in moderation.
8. Keep the Church’s fasting rules.
9. Spend some time in silence every day.
10. Do acts of mercy in secret.
11. Go to liturgical services regularly
12. Go to confession and communion regularly.
13. Do not engage intrusive thoughts and feelings. Cut them off at the start.
14. Reveal all your thoughts and feelings regularly to a trusted person.
15. Read the scriptures regularly.
16. Read good books a little at a time.
17. Cultivate communion with the saints.
18. Be an ordinary person.
19. Be polite with everyone.
20. Maintain cleanliness and order in your home.
21. Have a healthy, wholesome hobby.
22. Exercise regularly.
23. Live a day, and a part of a day, at a time.
24. Be totally honest, first of all, with yourself.
25. Be faithful in little things.
26. Do your work, and then forget it.
27. Do the most difficult and painful things first.
28. Face reality.
29. Be grateful in all things.
30. Be cheefull.
31. Be simple, hidden, quiet and small.
32. Never bring attention to yourself.
33. Listen when people talk to you.
34. Be awake and be attentive.
35. Think and talk about things no more than necessary.
36. When we speak, speak simply, clearly, firmly and directly.
37. Flee imagination, analysis, figuring things out.
38. Flee carnal, sexual things at their first appearance.
39. Don’t complain, mumble, murmur or whine.
40. Don’t compare yourself with anyone.
41. Don’t seek or expect praise or pity from anyone.
42. We don’t judge anyone for anything.
43. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything.
44. Don’t defend or justify yourself.
45. Be defined and bound by God alone.
46. Accept criticism gratefully but test it critically.
47. Give advice to others only when asked or obligated to do so.
48. Do nothing for anyone that they can and should do for themselves.
49. Have a daily schedule of activities, avoiding whim and caprice.
50. Be merciful with yourself and with others.
51. Have no expectations except to be fiercely tempted to your last breath.
52. Focus exclusively on God and light, not on sin and darkness.
53. Endure the trial of yourself and your own faults and sins peacefully, serenely, because you know that God’s mercy is greater than your wretchedness.
54. When we fall, get up immediately and start over.
55. Get help when you need it, without fear and without shame.

Water Hauling Adventures

Sometimes, ordinary things scare me. Take this afternoon, for instance. I hauled a load of water, which is a normal, weekly occurrence for us. I usually don't do it in the winter, simply because it's cold and I'm (slightly) lazy. Add that to the fact that I have to take the kids, and winter-time water-hauling becomes very complicated for me. In any case, it's above freezing today (hooray!! First time in over a month), and my nephew was at our house doing math, so I took advantage of Melanie's nap and decided to knock a chore off Dn. John's list. Before you say "Aw, she's so nice," I must also add that we didn't have enough water for me to shower today, so I wanted to expedite matters. But we digress.

Back to the scary part. There I was, driving a very modest (as in so modest that other drivers were giving me the finger, despite the fact I was only 5 mph under the speed limit) 30 mph, on an icy road, with 325 gallons of water strapped to the bed of my truck. The truck started to slide. It only slid a little, but it was enough to knock about 10 years off my life. Before you could say "self-correcting skid," I had flashed back on my life, and was convinced that it might be over. (Overreact much?)

However, since I am now home, blogging about my ridiculous panic attack, you can rest assured that I am fine. The truck is fine. It really barely bumped, but I was obsessing at the time about how to pull out of a skid should it happen, so my mind went slightly out of control. It happens a lot, trust me. I suppose I should also add that I almost ran over the kids' new sled as I was parking the truck. It was a bad driving day.

Marina learned about Mexico today in preschool (they're taking a pretend trip around the world, and every day they stop in a different place). She is still wearing her red poofy skirt and sombrero hair clip. Every time she walks through my field of vision, I want to laugh. She's just so stinking cute.